If your child is being trafficked

The age of the child being trafficked is an important consideration. If a victim is under 18, you are mandated by law to report to law enforcement or child protective services.

Youth 18 years and older can choose if and when they are ready to ask for help.

You may feel confused on how to engage with your child or what to say to them, but it's important to get in the right mindset and prepare yourself to talk to your child. This may take time and when you do feel ready, try to be non-judgmental.

Engaging in open dialogue can help you connect with your child and get them to feel comfortable talking. Instead of placing blame and starting statements with "you," you can express your own feelings such as "I'm afraid," “I care for you," "I love you," or "I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

It helps to acknowledge the difficulty your child may be experiencing in talking about their situation. You can say statements like “I can imagine you're feeling nervous or confused,” or “It must be difficult for you to talk about this to me.”

Be ready for resistance to sharing or for information that may shock you. Your child may not respond in the way that you expect. If you can, reflect the exact same language they use. For example, if they call their trafficker their "boyfriend," refer to their trafficker the same way during the conversation.

It also helps young people to hear that it's not their fault. No one chooses to be trafficked.

Letting your child know that the doors for communication will stay open can encourage them to reach out when they're ready.

If they're ready for help now, click here for more information about where to get help.

For youth who are 18 and older, it's their choice if they want to seek help. Your child may not be ready to make a change. You might do everything you can to care for your child but it doesn't always mean they will leave the exploitative situation.

This might be confusing for you.

Understanding the complex nature of sex trafficking can help to reduce feelings of disappointment, frustration or helplessness while supporting your child.

If your child isn't ready to leave it has nothing to do with your parenting, nor is it your child’s fault. Traffickers shift between acting caring and threatening to ensure victims feel both loyal and intimidated.  Victims often form a trauma bond with the trafficker and don't see themselves as victims. The challenges with leaving can be enormous and many victims don't believe they can survive on their own.

“Much of the recovery that happens is not a smooth line, it does not go from left to right and it doesn’t happen overnight.” - Julie, Manager, Anti-Human Trafficking Services, Covenant House

You can provide your child with the Canadian Human Trafficking Hotline number 1.833.900.1010 which can connect them to local community resources when they are ready to seek support.

Read our report on the barriers to exiting sex trafficking.

When a child isn't ready to leave, a caregiver’s biggest fear may be losing their child. Sometimes, this leads to the child becoming the driver of the family dynamic. Caregivers may find themselves accepting behaviours that may otherwise be unacceptable. The most important goal at this stage is to keep your child and the entire family as safe as possible.

When safety planning and determining what support to seek, it may help to understand things like:

• Does the trafficker know where your child lives?
• Have they threatened the family?
• Are they violent?
• Does your child keep returning to the trafficker?
• Is there a substance dependency?
• Is your child engaging in self-harm or having suicidal thoughts?

This information can be helpful to communicate when you reach out for support. Depending on the answers, you may want to consider obtaining a restraining order to protect your child.

If your child is engaging in self-harm or is having suicidal thoughts and you would like more information, these resources may be helpful:

https://kidshelpphone.ca/topic/emotional-well-being/self-injury-suicide/

https://cmha.ca/documents/youth-and-self-injury

For your child
Your child has rights and is entitled to services and help. You can reach out to law enforcement, a child advocacy centre or seek an external advocate. Click here for more information about the role of an advocate. Call the confidential 24-7 Canadian National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1.833.900.1010 to access information about services available in your region.

For yourself
Caregivers often hesitate to reach out for support because they feel shame, guilt or fear judgment. If your extended family is supportive, it can be helpful to ask them to help support your child and reinforce the messaging and boundaries you've established. It's important not to isolate yourself during this time.

You may feel more comfortable seeking support from someone outside the family, like a professional or somebody who has been through this before. Whether or not your child is ready to leave, help is available for you and the entire family.