*Gregory used to hide his emotions behind humour and a tough exterior. Despite being surrounded by others facing similar challenges, he kept any struggles he experienced tightly guarded.
Gregory doesn’t do that anymore – not since becoming part of the Boys Group, a supportive community of male-identified youth who meet regularly at Covenant House. In that safe space designed for youth staying in the shelter to talk, share, connect, find common ground and get advice, Gregory feels less alone and more empowered.
“This group has let me see the vulnerable side of other people,” he said. “It allowed me to open up.”
Covenant House shelter staff De’Sean Richards (pictured) started the group with another colleague when they noticed the young men in the shelter weren’t comfortable talking about their feelings and their challenges with youth of other genders present or even one-on-one with staff.
Since they started nearly three years ago, these meetings have been transformative, allowing youth to talk about everything from how to best solve a conflict to how to have a healthy relationship to how to manage their feelings.
“I’ve seen boys be more open with one another since joining the group,” he said. “We’ve had some boys who used to isolate themselves from people, but because of the group, they’re able to have conversations and make new friends.”
It’s a more relaxed way for these youth to access good role models and rely on each other for support, De’Sean said. And it’s all youth led. For example, if a member wanted to talk about how to successfully land a job, they’d act out a mock interview and trade notes and give advice. A discussion De’Sean led about perception – helping the youth understand how the way they move in the world and show up in certain spaces affects people’s view of them – made a real impact.
“I started noticing differences in their behaviours in the shelter mere days after that conversation,” De’Sean said.
The group also offered Gregory a chance to develop his leadership skills. De’Sean noticed early on that Gregory would often naturally lead the sessions, so he gave him the opportunity to co-lead the group which boosted his confidence.
The Boys Group also prioritizes joy and new experiences. On one outing to an arcade and restaurant, the youth noticed they were hiring, so Gregory applied and successfully interviewed. Securing that job helped him move out of shelter and into a place of his own.
As he continues towards his bright future ahead, Gregory says he’ll keep showing up twice a month to support others for as long as he can.
“So many positive things have happened to me because of this group,” Gregory said. “It was a new chance for me.”